You lost me at hello and other lessons in e-mail marketing

I received a fair amount of spam through my e-mail account this week, and I jotted down a few of the subject lines because they are such great examples of what NOT to do. From the subject lines alone it was clear that I didn't need to pay any attention to the messages, so one quick delete and they were zapped into the same oblivion where go all ineffective attempts to grab my attention.

Some of the subject lines were incomprehensible - such as "Your money, old bachelorish." So, what are they saying - I'm old, alone and because of that it's time to pay up? DELETE!

We all know that putting the word "money" in a subject is a definite no-no, yet I still get spam from outsiders like this one - "Your money, net plankton." Perhaps they thought they'd confuse me into reading this one. They only succeeded because I wanted to share the details with all of you. From the subject line I might have suspected that I was being offered a chance to work on one of those big shrimp boats off the coast of Maine. But no! This message was selling a product called "Perfect Erection." DELETE!

My favorite spam e-mail subject line of the week was "Hello, odd looking!" No sugar-coating or false flattery here. I've clearly earned my place on the "ugly person" mailing list at long last, and I couldn't be more ready to hit the delete key. This message, by the way, was also selling that erectile dysfuntion product. Yeah, like I'm going to buy something from somone who just called me "odd looking." DELETE!